5 Qualities of Joyful People
Do You Recognize These Qualities in Yourself?
Joy is the soul of happiness. Like pleasure, it can express itself through the body, but it is not of the body. Like satisfaction, it can be felt emotionally and appreciated mentally, but it is so much more than just an emotion or a state of mind.
Other words used to describe this type of happiness include “bliss” and “felicity,” and also “ecstasy,” which, translated from the ancient Greek ek-stasis, means “to stand outside oneself.” Joy is bigger than your ego.
It exists before the thought of “I.”
Joy is impossible to define, but it can be described. The most inspirational people to have walked this earth have tried to express what joy means to them. For example, Helen Keller described joy as “the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.” Mother Teresa wrote, “Joy is prayer. Joy is strength. Joy is love. Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” And C. S. Lewis referred to joy as “the serious business of Heaven.” Continue Reading
Louise and I are well into our second day of conversations on forgiveness. The rain is still falling in San Diego. Strong gusts of wind blow against the windows. The low-flying clouds move fast through the air. Periodically, small patches of blue break through the ceiling of grey. The sun is up there somewhere. We’ve been indoors most of the time, doing our inner work, save for one trip to Whole Foods, to stock up for dinner. Our conversations have been intense, full of insight, and healing. There’s always something new to learn about forgiveness. A little willingness goes a long way.
“Satisfaction” is the name given to the type of happiness that is most commonly studied by positive psychologists. It also fits with what some philosophers call “desire theories,” which focus on the happiness that comes from “getting what you want.” Other words used to describe this happiness include “contentment,” “fulfilment,” and also the scientific term “subjective well-being.”
We live our lives in the hopes that just one more thing will complete our happiness. The ego’s conditioned thought is that something is missing. And so we look for the missing piece to bring us salvation. And yet, no matter how many things we purchase, gather, and collect, we still feel as if something’s missing. Indeed, there is-the unconditional awareness that nothing is missing. We are, in truth, complete and whole already.
The first time I considered the idea that love is real was the night my father died. My mum, David, and I left the hospital at around 9 p.m. We went back to Mum’s house. We stayed up for a while. We didn’t eat dinner. We weren’t hungry. Death does not feel real. I couldn’t comprehend how my father wasn’t here anymore. 
“If you could teach your children only one lesson about love, what would it be?” I was asked this question in a recent interview I gave on the radio. It’s a great question. It really made me think. How would you answer it? There are many answers I could have given, but I was asked to give just one. What came to my mind was a mantra I learned from my great friend, psychologist Chuck Spezzano. I teach about this mantra in every Loveability program. The mantra is: If it hurts, it isn’t love.