What is Forgiveness?
Louise Hay and Robert Holden, Ph.D. Discuss Forgiveness
Louise and I are well into our second day of conversations on forgiveness. The rain is still falling in San Diego. Strong gusts of wind blow against the windows. The low-flying clouds move fast through the air. Periodically, small patches of blue break through the ceiling of grey. The sun is up there somewhere. We’ve been indoors most of the time, doing our inner work, save for one trip to Whole Foods, to stock up for dinner. Our conversations have been intense, full of insight, and healing. There’s always something new to learn about forgiveness. A little willingness goes a long way.
“Louise, what is real forgiveness?” I ask, digging for more insights.
“We don’t need to know how to forgive. All we need is to be willing to forgive,” says Louise. Saying yes to forgiveness is the first step. When you affirm I say yes to forgiveness, it activates something in you, and healing begins. Your willingness orchestrates the healing and arranges for you to meet the right people and find the necessary help along the way. As you keep on saying yes to forgiveness, every step of the way, your healing journey takes you from the past into the present and to an entirely new future.
Separation is the great disease of mankind. It is because you believe you are separate and alien to the rest of life that you experience lack, struggle, conflict, illness, and pain.
Shift happens when you let go of attachment to suffering. I have learned that problems are not fixed; they are simply outgrown. You leave them behind.
From a distance, the independent person cuts a striking pose. To be independent looks like power, freedom, and true strength. But it isn’t. Independence is not strength, it is a wound. Independence is inspired not by love, but fear, and not by wholeness, but aloneness. Independence is the ego’s attempt to be its own god. It is a form of arrogance that leads to much despair. The independent person always runs out of juice.