Blog
From a distance, the independent person cuts a striking pose. To be independent looks like power, freedom, and true strength. But it isn’t. Independence is not strength, it is a wound. Independence is inspired not by love, but fear, and not by wholeness, but aloneness. Independence is the ego’s attempt to be its own god. It is a form of arrogance that leads to much despair. The independent person always runs out of juice.
How do you know if you are being dysfunctionally independent? Continue Reading
Cultivating the ability to generate your own inner joy and happiness rather than looking outside.
We now have less time to enjoy the things we believe we must buy to make us happy. — Staffan Linder, economist
At The Happiness Project, we have collected hundreds of happiness and well-being surveys that prove that consumerism’s guarantee of happiness has bounced. Every day in the Manic Society, we are rapidly increasing our purchasing power, but we are not experiencing any significant increase in happiness. New products are hitting the market faster than ever before, and with overnight delivery they arrive on our doorsteps in record time.
Thanks to the “joy of credit” we don’t even have to wait to afford these things. Surely this sounds like instant happiness.
But research tells us time and time again that we are not any happier. We suffer from what Economist Staffan Linder calls “pleasure blindness,” which is the ability to generate one’s own joy and happiness. Continue Reading
A Conversation Between Louise Hay and Robert Holden, Ph.D.
In the process of writing this book with Louise, I’ve been tracking my responses to the phrase ‘Life loves you.’
Each time I hear these three words, I can hear my soul saying, “Yes.” Sometimes it’s a gentle whisper, and other times it’s a joyous shout. With each ‘Yes’ I feel physically strong and deeply heartened. I know life is spurring me on. That said I’m also aware of other voices that call out from the dark corners of my mind. These voices are more cynical. They are full of hurt. ‘Life loves you’ sounds like mere words to them, and the words are too good to be true.
I asked Louise why she thinks these darker influences cross our minds some of the time.
“It’s taken me a while to let myself hear these words,” I admit.
“Not everyone can hear them,” she says.
“Sometimes they sound like the gospel truth,” I say, “but other times, they feel like only a positive affirmation.”
“I know how that feels,” says Louise.
“Why do we find it difficult to hear these words?” I ask her.
Continue Reading
Happy Valentines Day to you. Today is a good day to pay attention to your relationship to love, and to commit to being the most loving person you can be. Make it your intention today to love everyone. Allow yourself to let love in today. Don’t leave yourself out. Loves excludes no one, after all.
To mark this occasion, here is a poem, Falling in Love, which I put inside a card for my wife, Hollie, this morning.
You can fall in love with the same person
for the first time at least ten thousand times,
Continue Reading
Taking the Time to Identify Your True Priorities
It’s nearly 6pm on New Year’s Eve. Hollie, Bo, Christopher and I have just finished our last supper of 2012. Hollie has taken the children upstairs for a bath before bedtime. I’m cleaning up in the kitchen (or I will after I’ve written this blog).
The house is full of stillness. It feels like there’s an angel in the house. The stillness fells the same as the pause that happens between each exhalation and inhalation.
It’s like the whole world is taking a deep breath. We are all breathing out, and letting go. We are all breathing in, and getting ready.
At 10am, Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), the New Year celebrations begin. The people of Christmas Island and Samoa send out a wave across the planet. At 11am (GMT), the people of New Zealand catch the wave, and they then pass it on. Continue Reading
How to Take the Lead in Your Life
For the last two years the Success Intelligence team has been running a leadership program for 1,000 people. Today, Ben Renshaw and I are facilitating our sixth event for these leaders. Leadership is evolving now. One of the key messages of our program is: leadership is no longer the prerogative of a few; it is the responsibility of us all.
Some people switch off when they see the word “Leadership.” And yet, real leadership is relevant to everyone. In essence, leadership isn’t just about titles, positions, pay grades, and a job of work; it’s much more interesting than that. Leadership is about how you show up; living from your heart; and allowing yourself to be inspired. Continue Reading