Do you live your life only to get to the end of it? Most people answer this question with a “no,” but not everyone lives like they mean it. In the manic society that most of us experience, people exhibit a frantic, neurotic behavior I call “Destination Addiction.” This addiction is a major block to success. People who suffer from Destination Addiction believe that success is a destination. They are addicted to the idea that the future is where success is, happiness is, and heaven is. Each passing moment is merely a ticket to get to the future. They live in the “not now,” they are psychologically absent, and they disregard everything they have. Destination Addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is somewhere else. We suffer, literally, from the pursuit of happiness. We are always on the run, on the move, and on the go. Our goal is not to enjoy the day, it is to get through the day. We have always to get to somewhere else first before we can relax and before we can savor the moment. But we never get there. There is no point of arrival. We are permanently dissatisfied. The feeling of success is continually deferred. We live in hot pursuit of some extraordinary bliss we have no idea how to find. Continue Reading
I like the story told of Socrates, the Greek philosopher, who was known for his love of marketplaces. He would always visit a market if his schedule permitted. Often, he would alter his schedule to make sure he could. It was noted, however, that Socrates rarely bought anything at the markets. One of Socrates’ students once asked him, “Why do you visit so many markets and make so few purchases?” Socrates smiled and replied, “I simply delight in looking at all the pretty things I don’t need.”
At the heart of Success Intelligence is the wisdom to know what happiness is and is not. The wisdom of happiness must surely be that happiness is not an it. Either that or we have all been shopping in the wrong places. How can anyone be truly happy if they believe that happiness is an “it” that can be bought? We have to think more deeply than this. And how can anyone be truly successful if they do not know what they really value? Continue Reading
Cultivating the ability to generate your own inner joy and happiness rather than looking outside.
We now have less time to enjoy the things we believe we must buy to make us happy. — Staffan Linder, economist
At The Happiness Project, we have collected hundreds of happiness and well-being surveys that prove that consumerism’s guarantee of happiness has bounced. Every day in the Manic Society, we are rapidly increasing our purchasing power, but we are not experiencing any significant increase in happiness. New products are hitting the market faster than ever before, and with overnight delivery they arrive on our doorsteps in record time.
Thanks to the “joy of credit” we don’t even have to wait to afford these things. Surely this sounds like instant happiness.
But research tells us time and time again that we are not any happier. We suffer from what Economist Staffan Linder calls “pleasure blindness,” which is the ability to generate one’s own joy and happiness. Continue Reading
Happy Valentines Day to you. Today is a good day to pay attention to your relationship to love, and to commit to being the most loving person you can be. Make it your intention today to love everyone. Allow yourself to let love in today. Don’t leave yourself out. Loves excludes no one, after all.
To mark this occasion, here is a poem, Falling in Love, which I put inside a card for my wife, Hollie, this morning.
You can fall in love with the same person for the first time at least ten thousand times,
It’s nearly 6pm on New Year’s Eve. Hollie, Bo, Christopher and I have just finished our last supper of 2012. Hollie has taken the children upstairs for a bath before bedtime. I’m cleaning up in the kitchen (or I will after I’ve written this blog).
The house is full of stillness. It feels like there’s an angel in the house. The stillness fells the same as the pause that happens between each exhalation and inhalation.
It’s like the whole world is taking a deep breath. We are all breathing out, and letting go. We are all breathing in, and getting ready.
At 10am, Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), the New Year celebrations begin. The people of Christmas Island and Samoa send out a wave across the planet. At 11am (GMT), the people of New Zealand catch the wave, and they then pass it on. Continue Reading
The DAILY EXPRESS published an article today, “10 Steps to Happiness“, that outlines my ten tips for facing blue Monday, the economic recession, and for rediscovering your joyful side. Here is the article in full. Enjoy.
UNTIL recently psychologists dismissed happiness as a “pleasurable emotion with no evolutionary value”. The theory was happiness feels good but it isn’t useful. However research reveals happiness has a powerful effect on the brain that helps you to think broadly, to come up with creative solutions and makes you generally more resilient.
In short happiness helps you to bring out the best in yourself. Follow my tips below to rediscover your joyful side.
1 The Big Re-think
Real, enduring happiness cannot be bought. Research confirms that money is important for basic needs like food, rent and clothes. However the link between higher income and increased happiness has been described in one study as “surprisingly weak” and “virtually negligible”. In fact a third of all millionaires are less happy than the national average.
Do you live your life only to get to the end of it? Most people answer this question with a “no,” but not everyone lives like they mean it. In the manic society that most of us experience, people exhibit a frantic, neurotic behavior I call “Destination Addiction.” This addiction is a major block to success. People who suffer from Destination Addiction believe that success is a destination. They are addicted to the idea that the future is where success is, happiness is, and heaven is. Each passing moment is merely a ticket to get to the future. They live in the “not now,” they are psychologically absent, and they disregard everything they have. Destination Addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is somewhere else. We suffer, literally, from the pursuit of happiness. We are always on the run, on the move, and on the go. Our goal is not to enjoy the day, it is to get through the day. We have always to get to somewhere else first before we can relax and before we can savor the moment. But we never get there. There is no point of arrival. We are permanently dissatisfied. The feeling of success is continually deferred. We live in hot pursuit of some extraordinary bliss we have no idea how to find. Continue Reading
I like the story told of Socrates, the Greek philosopher, who was known for his love of marketplaces. He would always visit a market if his schedule permitted. Often, he would alter his schedule to make sure he could. It was noted, however, that Socrates rarely bought anything at the markets. One of Socrates’ students once asked him, “Why do you visit so many markets and make so few purchases?” Socrates smiled and replied, “I simply delight in looking at all the pretty things I don’t need.”
At 
Happy Valentines Day to you. Today is a good day to pay attention to your relationship to love, and to commit to being the most loving person you can be. Make it your intention today to love everyone. Allow yourself to let love in today. Don’t leave yourself out. Loves excludes no one, after all.
It’s nearly 6pm on New Year’s Eve. Hollie, Bo, Christopher and I have just finished our last supper of 2012. Hollie has taken the children upstairs for a bath before bedtime. I’m cleaning up in the kitchen (or I will after I’ve written this blog).
The DAILY EXPRESS published an article today, “