What is Destination Addiction?
How to Stop Thinking about What Comes Next
We suffer, literally, from the pursuit of happiness. We are always on the run, on the move, and on the go. Our goal is not to enjoy the day, it is to get through the day.
Destination Addiction is an attempt to get on with life faster in the hope that we will enjoy our lives better. And yet our constant speeding means we frequently run past golden opportunities for grace and betterment. We are so harassed by the insecurity of our forward-seeking ego that we have no idea what it means to live by the grace of God. We seek, but we do not find. If only we could stop a while and let wisdom and grace show us a better way. “One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things,” wrote novelist Henry Miller. I think of grace as being the potential for a better way that is present in every situation. Grace is the ability to let yourself be inspired. It is letting yourself be touched by the highest intelligence and wisdom available. Our job is not to acquire grace, it is to accept it. We simply have to make it welcome. In other words, we have to be receptive. Our Destination Addiction often works against us, however, because we are too busy running to be receptive. Hence, we always feel empty. Here are some more symptoms of Destination Addiction:
- Whatever you are doing, you are always thinking about what comes next.
- You cannot afford to stop because you always have to be somewhere else.
- You are always in a hurry even when you don’t need to be.
- You always promise that next year you will be less busy.
- Your dream home is always the next home you plan to buy.
- You don’t like your job but it has good prospects for the future.
- You never commit fully to anything in case something better comes along.
- You hope the next big success will finally make you happy.
- You always think you should be further ahead of where you are now.
- You have so many forecasts, projections, and targets that you never enjoy your life.
The German mystic Thomas Kempis observed, “Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view.” This is a great truth. It is similar to the popular aphorism “Begin with the end in mind.” The words “the end” have two different meanings. One meaning is “the finish,” i.e., the end of a project, or the end of your career. The other meaning is “the purpose,” i.e., your vision, your values, etc. The trouble with Destination Addiction is that it focuses purely on finishes and not on purpose. To live intelligently is to live with purpose, to make the means the end, and also the end the means. The end is in every moment.
Excerpted from my book, Authentic Success.