Blog
I’m in Milan, Italy today coaching a team of leaders who are responsible for three global brands that are each the No.1 brand in their field.
We began the day by reviewing the question, “What is success?” As ever, the conversation was interesting, informative, and helpful.
“What is success?” is a good question.
After that, we explored the question, “What is REAL success?”
This time the conversation went to a whole new level. It was illuminating, energizing, and revelatory. “What is REAL success?” is a great question. Continue Reading
Success Intelligence: Your Real Work
On January 28th-30th, I co-facilitated with Ben Renshaw and Avril Carson a public workshop called Success Intelligence: Living a Life you Love. Approximately 50 people attended the workshop. They were from all walks of life including media, politics, art, health-care, education, and business. For three days, we immersed ourselves in a rich inquiry into the nature of authentic success.
In the week before the workshop, I came across some words attributed to Roger Ebert. They read: “What you do instead of your work is your real work.” These words made me stop in my tracks. I felt an uneasy sensation in my stomach. At the same time a loud “bong” sounded off inside my head, one like you hear at the start of a Universal Pictures movie. I used Roger’s words to do an on-the-spot inventory on my life. The first question on my inventory was: What is the real work of my life? Continue Reading
Some Important Questions to Ask Yourself
6. Is this love or am I in sacrifice?
There are two types of sacrifice: unhealthy sacrifice and healthy sacrifice. One is based on fear and the other on love. Knowing the difference is a key to knowing how to love and be loved.
Over the years, I have counseled people who tried to use unhealthy sacrifice to save a marriage. It appeared to work at first, but love and dishonesty are not good bedfellows. I have seen lovers try to play small in a relationship so as to heal power struggles and avoid rejection. I have seen children get ill in a desperate attempt to heal their parents’ relationship. I have seen business leaders nearly kill themselves for their cause. Unhealthy sacrifice is often well intentioned, but it doesn’t work, because it is based on fear and not love.
Healthy sacrifice is a different story. To be happy in a relationship, you have to be willing to sacrifice fear for love, independence for intimacy, resentment for forgiveness, and old wounds for new beginnings, for instance. Above all, you have to stop giving yourself away and learn how to give more of yourself. You give yourself away when you are not true to yourself, when you play a role, when you don’t speak up, when you don’t ask for what you want, when you don’t listen to yourself, and when you don’t allow yourself to receive. The key is to remember that whatever you are trying to achieve with unhealthy sacrifice can also be achieved without it. Continue Reading
Why We Sometimes Confuse Adrenaline With Purpose
Permanent busyness is not intelligent. In fact, it is my experience that permanent busyness is often a major block to success in work, relationships, and life. The Busy Generation has to learn that it is not enough to be busy. A busy life is not necessarily a life well lived. A busy work schedule is not evidence of any great accomplishment. Being busy neither guarantees success nor equates to success. Henry David Thoreau, the American philosopher, who has inspired so many leaders and thinkers, once wrote: It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants.
The question is: What are we busy about? Permanent busyness might start with the best of intentions, but along the way we disconnect from what is truly important, sacred, and real. We lose the power to discriminate. We are so busy, so overbooked, and so obsessed with our schedules that we are no longer open and available to the essential truth and beauty of our lives. We are lost, but we are usually too busy to notice. As the popular saying goes: “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” Continue Reading
And How to Recognize the 3 Ways that Separation Manifests in Our Lives
Separation is the great disease of mankind. It is because you believe you are separate and alien to the rest of life that you experience lack, struggle, conflict, illness, and pain.
Think about it!
It is impossible to feel wholly connected to life and be depressed. It is impossible to experience pure oneness and have anxiety. It is impossible to join unconditionally with someone and be in fear. It is impossible to be with God and in hell.
Separation is Hell
When you are tempted to fence off a piece of the whole and call it “self,” “mine,” and “own,” the price you pay for these acquisitions is to feel estranged, separate, and disassociated from the whole field of creation. Everything now feels outside “you,” including happiness, love, peace, Heaven, and God. The word hell in Old English means “fence” or “boundary.” Continue Reading
An Introduction to Louise Hay's Famous Exercise
The first spiritual practice Louise and I have created for you combines self-love and mirror work.
This practice has two parts to it. It takes about 15 minutes to do it, and the benefits will last a lifetime.
The one piece of equipment you need is a mirror. Any mirror will do. Make sure you give it a good polish before you begin. You are about to meet the most important person in your life.
Remember, your relationship with this person (namely you) is very powerful—it influences your relationship with everyone and everything.
Let’s Begin
Be sure you are sitting comfortably.
Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Inhale deeply.
Say to yourself these three words: Life loves you
And then exhale.
It’s good to keep breathing! Repeat this ten times. Notice your response each time. Pay attention to the three languages of response: sensation (body messages), feelings (heart thoughts), and thoughts (mental commentary).
Continue Reading